Canadian Girls

It Might Be a Little Breezy, But All the Girls Up here are all So Easy,
But Not at all so Sleezy, I respect there currency,
But my New Northern Lady isn't so shady,
She Fills my Heart up with Love.
Like an Angel Sent From Above,
They All Stand Tall in Montreal, Lookin For a Beauty?
Toronto is Where you Gotta go,
The Greatest Girl's You Ever Saw,
Are All in Manitoba, or You Should Manoever
Your Ass Up to Vancouver."

So I must Confess that Canadian Girls' are the Best,
They Got Kindness that matches the Cuteness
The Listing Price is Doubled Twice, But if you Understand
it's all the same in American, Then I'm the Man Dating a Knockout Canadian."

Hotels seem Dirt Cheep and When I look into your Eyes I can't Sleep,.
But Back to the U.S. is Where I Leap, But it's You My Babe I want to Keep!"
It's All the Same Amount, and What it's all ABOUT, About's a Boot,
To the North is where I Scoot, You Say Bur, But I Got Fur and I want Her."
So I Like the Canadian Chicks, they Say Men Back Home are all Cocky Pricks,
Just Always want to Handle Hockey Sticks!"
So If She Comes from the Place with the Red & White Flag,
I Like Meat, But if it's Got a Maple Leaf,
then that's my Hella Favorite Beef."

Your My Craft and I Don't need this Draft.
I Don't Want Labatt, I Just want my Baby Back.
and I hate this Blue, I Just Want You!"
I Could Be a Dopey Blue eye'd Honey Lovin,
Big Brown Canadian Bear, When I just sit there and Stare.
But I Couldn't Care as long as you are there."
So I Catch You a Samon and I make it Happen."

Pornographic Halloween

"Pumpkin Smashing, Black Cat Laughing, Trix and Treats,
But the Only Candy that we really want is the Eye’ in Kind!.."
What Better Holiday to Wear Lingerie and have it be ok?
Parents, Principle and Teachers think it's so obscene,
But boys like me couldn't dream up a better Porno Scene,
Like What Happens on the Night of Halloween..

"Lady Cops with Handy Cuffs, Naughty Nurse Flirts,
and Catholic Girls in Mini-Skirts,
A Hot French Maid and another Mermaid as far as I can See,
as we all sit down with a Blue Tainted Alice, and have some Tea!.."

Fly'in Genie in a Hot bikini, and a Diamond Kitty,
Little Red Riding Hood dressed up Just Like she Should,
Sexy Eve with No Adam, with Some Captain Rum,
There's A Low-Cut Pirate that Morgan's Hordin!.."

"On Halloween I go at it alone like a Rebel.,
Cause I never Know if I'll meet up with the Angel or the Devil,
Give that Rope a Twirl Cause I'm Going Home with this Cow Girl.
So She is no G.I. Joe but she sure looks good in CAMO, this I know!.."

"So You want a Hot Waitress and a Stewardess, I a Huntress and a Lioness!.."
A Pleated Referee and a Knock Out Adult, Cat woman’s here in Leather and Laces,
If you think that Candy is Cool, then your such a Fool,
When this Construction Girl Looks like she want's your Tool!.."

"A Girl showing more skin then only just her tummy,
To a Pink Pointy Eared, Playboy bunny,
From a Santa's Little Helper to a fox in fur,
It don't matter, what costume you have on, Cause it's alway gonna make you Grrr!."

"Parents, Principle and Teachers think it's so obscene,
But boys like me couldn't dream up a better Porno Scene,
Like What Happens on the Night of Halloween..
Like What's Gonna Happen,
Like What's Going to Happen on This Night of Halloween!"

All My Girls Are Gone

The Nurse Came Up to Me,
"Congratulaions Your a Daddy..
It's a Baby Girl and it's so Very Healthy,
But Were Losing Her Mommy,
And Sir I'm So Very Sorry.."
..And Now Everyday I Still Carry On,
That My Girl is Gone, But I don't Feel So Alone,
I Must Raise This Baby All On My Own.

I Held this Little Girl in My Arm,
Baby, I'm Your Daddy, I Mean you No Harm,
I Hear Your HeartBeat, I Hope it Stays Stronger
Then That of Your Mom,
Couldn't Help But Think I Would Rail
Any Male Who'd Ever Do You Wrong,
I'm Sorry I'm Speechless, or I'd Sing You a Song,
Let's take You Home, And Don't Worry Your Little
Furry Friend Can Tag Along

I Must Teach Her Wrong From Right?
Also Don't Forget To Turn On that
TinkerBell Light and Kiss-n-Tuck Her In at Night
I Love This Little Girl, I Hold Her Hand and Make Her Twirl,
Make Her Drink All Her Milk So She Grows Big and Strong,
Take Her On a Drive and Listen To Our Favorite Song,
I Listen To Her Little White Lies that make me Laugh,
I Teach Her Math and I Also Brush Her Hair After Every Bath"

I Built Her a Play-House High in a Tree,
We Always Have Toons Blareing on the Tv.
I Tell Her About a Sponge Who Lived Under The Sea.
Tell Her I'm Older Then a Dvd..
She Grew Up Fast, But Much To Slow,
Now When I Lift Up My Brow,
She Just Replies Don't Have a Cow!"

Whatever Happened to that Baby Girl I Once Knew,
Like When She Was Two, Now No Longer Plays Peek-A-Boo
She Just Went On Up and Suddenly Grew,
I Wish I Could Ask Her Mom for Help She'd Know What to Do,
I Wish You Could See This Girl, That Came From Me and You..
Would You Be Sad, Would You Be Glad, Happy or Mad?
All I Know is That You Would Love Her As Much As I Had,
She Has Your Eye's, She Has Your Smile,
She Even Love's Me As Much As You Did.
From this Baby I Hide My Tear,
That I Wish, You Were Still Here..

Then on One Sad Day
I had To Give My Grown-up-Girl Away.
I Had to Walk Her Down That Aisle
and Give Her That Finale Smile,
I Gave the Man a Glance,
and We Had are Father Bride Dance.
I Listened to Her Say Give Him a Chance,
That's When She Finally Saw My Tear,
and She Whispered in My Ear,
Now You Listen Here,
I'm Your Daughter and I'm Glad
Your My Dad!..
And Now Everyday I Still Carry On,
Thinkin All My Girls Are Gone!"

Reality Bite

I Need a Shave, I Don't Smell the Best, I Just Lay
at Home Because I need the Rest,
My Mood is Going Up and Down in So Many Ways, I Miscount the Days,
Right Now I Feel Like I'm Good For Nothing,
And To Everyone Else It's Not a Big Deal How I Feel,
Do I Have a Heart, Do I Even Have a Soul?
I'm Tired of Chasing Tail, Would My Momma Even Recognize Me?
I'm Not The Boy That I Used to Be."

Take A Shower and Make Your Bed, All Cook You Some Food
to Make Sure That Your Fed, Get Dressed Right Now,
Did You Hear What I Said? Pickup These Clothes, This House Looks Like Shit,
How Can People Even Live in it?
It's Monday Morning and the First of June,
Here's The Paper, I Hope You Find a Damn Job Soon,
How Dare You to Think, Yo Momma Don't Care,
I Love You Son, Now Take Care Of Yourself, Your The Man of The House."

She Might Age To Other People But Not To Me,
She Has Her Heart Soul and Mind,
and I Should Tell Her I Love Her More of the Time,
You Make Me Believe I Can Do This, So I Think I Might,..
Without You I Couldn't Feel Reality Bite

We Don't Need this Ball

"I Never Had a Clue of What I Knew,
All I Could Do is Throw This Ball Back at You,
She Had Her Wet Brown Hair all Drenched in Sweet,
With a Dark Blue Eyes She Looked Up at Me and Said..

"I'm Sorry if I Couldn't Catch that Ball at All,
and I'm Sorry How I Hit that TRuck it's Not My Favorite Brand,
and Sorry How I Got Glad When You Hit that Sand,
Cause See Boy, Your My Catch and I Don't Need That Ball at All.

Every Girl Who Would Walk in Are Cross, I Never Threw to them a Toss,
Cause as Far as I can See, it's Only You and Me,
Every Boy Who Would Walk By and Clap,
She'd Say "No Way Cause I'm His Beer and He's My Tap,"

Yeah, We Were Throwin Balls While Her Girls Were at a Bathrrom Stall,
and When They Got There it Was not Fair,
Cause They Took Her Away Like a Dark Sunday,
and Everytime I Go Back to That Same Spot Where We Threw that Ball,
I Never See that Girl at All.."

My BabyDoll

So I'm Runnin Down the Road With My Headlights On,
Lookin' for a Truck Stop with a Bathroom Stall,
Lookin' for condoms if they even got them at all,
So I Can Head on Home and Make Love, with my Baby Doll.

Sittin' at the Bar Stool From Dusk Till Dawn
Plannin' to Drink this Whiskey Till I Probably Fall,
But the Bartender Looks at me and Says it's Last Call,
I Say Call me a Cab, So I Can Head Home and Make Love, With My Baby Doll.

So I'm Thinkin' of a way to get rid of these kids
I Shove Them in the Car and Take them to the Mall,
Whip Out all my Money and Say Have a Ball!
So I Can Head on Home and Make Love, with my Baby Doll.

Then we got a Divorce and I Lost it all,
And Now I'm Sittin' Here at Home All Alone
Makin Love, to a Stinkin'.. Blow.. Up.. Doll!"