Lucky Date

Ladies might be a Dime a Dozen,
But Only One Lucky Penny,
is Worth the time for Lovin'
A Bird has Flew,
But No Cloud is Even Ever Higher,
then a Girl as Great as You!"
The Dog never Knew,
I Knocked on the Door
The Cat had a Clue,
With a Dozen Red Roses,
I Gave them all to YOU!"

The Old Broadway

I Don't Care if Your a Cougar or a Cub,
If Your atleast 18 you'll belong in my Club.
I Can Make a Funny,
You'll Feel it in Your Tummy,
Ya-ya Yummy!
I'll Sprinkle Fun in Your Hair,
if You Pull Out Your Tongue,
I'll Put it in There.
I Can have fun,
Just about Anywhere."

They Call me the Critter,
If I Can Put it in Her,
Then She's a Winner."
I'm a Hunter,
But I'm not a Killer,
So Bring more Shots,
Because that's my Dinner!"
I See all these Bitches,
And I know they see me.
I'll Flaunt all my Money,
at the OB!"

Sit and Stare

It's a Simple "Hi, How are you?" or "What do you do?"
That makes your One Love Come True
Get up off of Your Seat, Meet and Greet.
Listen to Every Word they Say,
Then Maybe Later Go to Bed and Play.
Take a Dare, And Hop Out of Your Chair."
Don't Just Continue to Sit and Stare
And Wonder how all the Others are able
to Always get There.."If You Don't Care,
Then Continue too Just Sit and Stare."

The Alcoholic

I Got no Fortune, I Got no Class,
All I Got is a Bottle, Underneath my Ass.
You Might Ask, Where Did I Steer Wrong Here?"
I Will Tell You, Just Bring More Beer."
When I Got Money, All I Buy is Booze,
You Might Say it's Wrong, But I Don't Care to Win or Lose."
This is Just What I Choose.."
I Believe I will Always Use,
If You Aern't My Ride Home,..
Please Leave me Alone."
I Don't Need Food, I'm in the Cryin' Mood.
I Got More Money, Fill up my Glass,
Silence, I'm Kickin' my Own Damn Ass."

Don't Feed the Cat

It was suppost to be a One Night Stand,
But then Things Got Out of Hand,
One Night Lasted Longer then One Little Lay,
She Kept Coming Back Day after Day,..
How Was I to Know? That if I feed the Cat Once,
It Won't Ever Go Away.."

I Know I'm the One to Blame,..
For Buying into her Selfish Cries
Everytime the Seductive Mynx Came."
But Now I'm Expected to always again Save..
Crooked Cat, Why Can't You Split?"
I Guess I Dug my Own Grave,
And I'm Rollin' in it!"

Now, I'm Ignoring her Calls..
But I get so Annoyed,
I Punch Holes in my Walls,
Next Time my Own Dog Barks,
I Won't Feed him a Bone..
I'm Sorry I Had No Sparks,
You Crazy Cat,
Just Please Go Home!"